The don’ts and do’s of booze

Shakira Mills
Staff Writer

When I first got to college, one of the main things I looked forward to was being able to make my own choices, like drinking a lot of alcohol. I mean, hey, it’s college. However, once I got here, I quickly ended my crazy alcohol consumption and discovered the next morning that it is far more entertaining to watch everyone else’s drunken mishaps. In fact, my friends and I even made it a ritual to get dressed up every Friday and make our way to Village IV to watch drunken students go in and out of random townhouses for no apparent reason. From falling in sidewalk ditches to belligerent praying for mercy in front of the chapel at four in the morning, nothing surprises me anymore. It is one thing to be in need of a shoulder when it’s time to walk home at the end of the night, but it is a completely different situation when someone is so drunk that they find comfort in getting a good night’s rest on someone’s bathroom floor. This is the perfect time to discuss what I like to call “The Do’s and Don’ts of Booze.”
Let’s start with the “don’ts.” Number one: don’t drink what you don’t know. There are too many stories about college students who end up in the hospital because they drank something that isn’t even legal in the United States. The last thing Virginia Wesleyan needs is a band of ambulances coming through the gate for students who couldn’t be responsible when choosing what they drink. If it isn’t the normal vodka, rum, or whisky brands, do your research or leave it alone.
Number two: don’t draw unnecessary attention to the fact that you plan to get drunk that night. If you go around bragging about the bottles you have, you can annoy those around you and draw negative attention to the campus. Additionally, by bragging about being drunk before even drinking, you make security suspicious which of course doesn’t mean a happy ending for you. Think about it, if you were a security officer on this campus that heard a student bragging about getting drunk that night, wouldn’t you make an extra effort to make sure to check out the illegal party that might be happening?
Number three; stay away from fights. It is well known and common for alcohol to give college students what is called “liquid courage.” Drunken people tend to think that they can float like a butterfly and sting like a bee when in reality all they can do is swing and miss the piñata. No matter how drunk you are, there is always going to be a little voice in the back of your head telling you to walk away from something. Though that voice may be just as drunk as you are, it’s still a good idea to listen to it. Not only does this keep you out of serious trouble with Residence Life but it also keeps you off of YouTube.
I know it looks this way, but safe drinking isn’t all about the things that you can’t do. There are just as many do’s that you can use to prevent drunken disasters such as mixing your alcohol with juice. This should be nice and easy for the lightweights. However, for those who feel like they have to thug out every drink they have by taking it straight, calm down, unless you actually want an acid burned throat and a liver the size of a pen cap. Otherwise, just mix your drinks. It keeps you out of trouble with security and it makes it a lot easier to sip happily throughout the night.
The second booze do is to invest in non-drinking friends. Having a mixture of drinking and non-drinking buddies is the perfect way to ensure that you don’t do anything stupid while you’re drunk. This concept goes hand in hand with staying away from fights. Your sober friends should always be there to keep you out of security’s way as well as off the ground, which is where most drunk people want to be for some reason. Make sure you are a good friend to them while you are sober too. The last thing you need is for your Designated Sober Friend (DSF) to become fed up and leave you on the hallway floor.
Lastly, always know your limits. This is the biggest problem that college kids and even some adults have. If people don’t know when to stop drinking, they will never know when to start thinking. Predictably, this is an issue more common in males than females. Guys never want to seem like the lightweight of the group, so they drink until they are about to pass out; and when they do, they act like they are okay which benefits nobody but the sober people laughing at them. There’s nothing wrong with just being buzzed. In fact, whether you know it or not, people would rather be around the funny buzzed guy than the passed out wasted guy who has to vomit every 10 minutes.
All in all, alcohol abuse may be one of the smallest problems on this campus; however it’s still a problem. Not to sound sarcastic but, I wonder why?
Drink the liquor, don’t let it drink you.

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